I've learned - that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned - that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned - that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned- To say "Screw them if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.